november

it's the end of november. i feel like i've been a bit distant this month. life changed a little bit on october 31st... because.... i stopped working for callsource. you know, my part-time, always behind, blessing and a curse job... yeah, i don't do calls anymore. you see, they actually fired me. i know, so embarrassing. apparently i didn't get the memo on some new ways they wanted calls done and without a warning or anything, i got canned! i was shocked at first. and embarrassed. it's been almost a whole month now without thinking/worrying about calls. i've been doing this job nearly 3 years now, so it's certainly been a life change. jake and i have been planning on me quitting early next year as the baby's arrival gets closer and all that, but we weren't quiiiite ready to make that change. we still need the income. however, i am SO SO grateful that i don't have the burden of calls anymore. God knew what i would be dealing with and His grace is sufficient. He will provide that minimal income of mine. we will be just fine. we always are. i think my mind, heart and soul are much more important than that money. the job was truly weighing heavily on me. it isn't a hard job, so i always felt really guilty complaining about it. 

this 3rd pregnancy is kicking my butt most days. well, that mixed with an active toddler and a newly turned 3 year old. whoever named it terrible 2's obviously had never been around a 3 year old. it's a whole new world of discipline and training and i often feel overwhelmed. a 2 year old is typically about controlling their behavior and helping them cope. this 3 business is much more about their heart and motivation and them being deliberately disobedient. at least in my experience so far. 
needless to say, my energy is way down. so is my patience and gentleness and other general fruits of the spirit. by the end of the day, i am wiped out. i can't imagine having to sit down for a couple more hours focusing on calls. 
so, i am so thankful. it's definitely not how i would have chosen my relationship with callsource to end, but it is for the best. absolutely. i don't think i knew my own limits. 

and right now, finley is sitting on the toilet for 10 minutes so far waiting for poo poo. when he goes, he gets a new backhoe! SO this is a big step. we've had some trouble in the poo department with him and the potty. wish me luck. never a dull day around here. 

thanks for letting me be real. appreciate you.

love, love.
mer    

turkey

hey. 
so, tomorrow is thanksgiving. i say it's my favorite day of the year. i think i say this because the t-giving meal my mom makes is my favorite food of ALL TIME. and because it is the beginning of the wonderful christmas season. anyway... tomorrow will be the second thanksgiving i've spent away from my family in my whole life. the other being when i was at bible school in england. i will definitely be sad. no thanksgiving parade watching with my sissy, liz, who loves it more than anyone, i really believe. no pajama cooking time in the morning and having everyone take a shift to go shower and get ready as food time gets closer. we are going to josh and joy's house which i am excited for! me and joy are making everything, so here goes nothing. it surely won't be the same. luckily, my 2 little munchkins distract me from any possible emotion with their energy and constant need for attention/correction, so i won't probably feel sad during the day. but i can feel it now. and it just makes christmas coming that much sweeter. plus, my mom is making her thanksgiving dinner for christmas eve, SO that is surely something to be thankful for :)
audrey has been sick AGAIN this week. she had another breathing "episode" on monday and we were able to get right in and see the doctor. she put audrey on prednisone and we're continuing her breathing treatments. she's been doing much better today, thankfully. she has been so funny lately. she has a few baby dolls. 2 in particular, she's really become attached to. she carries them all over the house all day long. one in each arm. she has a blanket that is "their" blanket and a little toy bottle. she is such a mini-mama. her other favorite thing to do for them is wipe their faces. she gets the pack of wipes and pulls some out and cleans them all up. it is so fascinating to watch her care for her babies. everywhere we go: the Y, church, bible study, a play date, she spots all the dollys in the room and picks one for the day that she will take care of. it makes me wonder how this quality in her will develop as she gets older. i really hope this means she will extra love her baby brother or sister who will join us before we know it! i try and show her how to hold the baby dolls and give them their "milk" and cover them up, etc. really it's my secret plot to make her into a great helper! lol! we all know i will need one :)

well, i truly hope you have a super wonderful day tomorrow! if you are related to me, know i will be thinking about you and would love to be with you. love love.

nighty night. lots to do in the mornin'.

mer
   
 

breakfast and clouds

can anyone out there explain the following phenomenon to me:
i make my children breakfast. say, waffles with cream cheese (their fave), cereal, toast, eggs, etc. they eat about 3 bites. audrey screams in her highchair asking to get down. meanwhile, i am in the kitchen getting myself food. i bring it into the room where they are. get audrey out. she INSTANTLY comes running over to me saying, "biiite!" i typically have the exact same breakfast as them, yet, they want MY food. someone help me. 
i remember as a kid i used to think my dad made the best ice water in the world. i know. ice water. but i was convinced if he made me my ice water, it would taste better. and it always did. there's gotta be something to this weirdness. i'm hoping it has something to do with being created to want what our Heavenly Father wants. maybe what our parents have really does taste better. who knows.

total change of subject...north carolina is SO sunny. it's rained probably 10 times total since we moved here almost a year ago. people here love their sunshine. i was out the other day and i overheard a woman on her phone behind me saying, "yeah, but it's so yucky outside it's hard to get anything done." y'all, it was like 55 degrees and kind of cloudy. the overcast skies were in the process of breaking up. i miss the clouds. i really do. my perfect day is about 55 degrees with total cloud clover. not raining really, just cloudy. being in portland for so long, you see how people cherish the sun. in april when the first sunny day happens after winter, it's like people wake up and come out of hibernation. here, if there's one cloudy or rainy day, people hate it and just want their sun back. i suppose we're all trained and shaped by our circumstances. good thing i'm going to portland a MONTH from tomorrow and i'm sure i will get my fill of rain and clouds :). i know that i'm less of the norm though. most people prefer the sunshine. not sure what that says about me.

it's saturday morning. i just made pancakes and while audrey has a tray full of them, she's at my feet begging. ah well. sharing is caring, right? 

sure hope you guys have an awesome weekend! 
love y'all.

mer    

 

stuff

can i just brain dump on you? thank you, much obliged. 

• perhaps i used the phrase "much obliged" because i'm almost done with season 2 of downton abbey. i just love watching that show. i watch it when i'm in the mood to just be. and enjoy the british accents. 
• we were at a friend's house today and finley's little friend, charissa, let him bring some of her toys home and as she handed him toys, finley said, "oh, thank you so much!" i loved that.
• when we go to the grocery store, finley can now walk alongside me instead of sitting in the cart. this is a wonderful thing. audrey can now sit in the top part and she's much happier there. anyway, we were at the store today and finley grabbed a pack of lofthouse cookies and put them in the cart saying, "we need these, mommy!" couldn't argue with that one i tell ya.
• audrey throws a major fit once a day because she wants a dum dum. so endearing.
• 2 weird pregnancy things lately: i can't get enough of ramen noodles and cereal. specifically, golden grahams, cocoa puffs, and fruity pebbles. i'm well on my way to proper, slow weight gain.
• jake and i are going on a date on monday. ooooh la la. 
• THANKSGIVING is 2 weeks away!!!!! it's my favorite food of all time, ever. however, it's my MOM's cooking that i love. i'm going to have to do my best i suppose. 
• finley randomly comes up to me and sits on my lap and says, "you're my best friend!" i hope he always feels that way. i'm sure he won't.
• so so thankful morning sickness is still at bay. only bummed that i have a cold with a very sore throat. thankful for the $.25 icee's during happy hour at the closest gas station. 
• i really do love being a mom.
• i usually have no idea what i'm doing as a mom.
• so excited to see my family and friends in portland in a little over a MONTH!

thanks for reading all these thoughts. God is good to us. so thankful for my sweet little family and our house and the orange trees and soy chai and cardigans. 

love to you.
mer