so...

it's been emotional around here. for like, all of us. we had an original move in date to the new house last friday. so far, it's postponed one week. weddings are in full swing. there were 3 this weekend. since we live in the house, we don't interfere with the weddings too much since they take place outside and in the barn. but the kitchen is used for all things wedding and it just gets a bit chaotic trying to keep the kids occupied. so i try and be gone for most of the wake hours during events. all in all, we are just plain old exhausted. all of us. there is just a lot of juggling, moving around, eating out, driving, etc. good thing we aren't budgeting this month :). being a wife and mom i really had no idea how much i relied on my home. my place to go home too. with all of our things, our environment, our food, our dishes, our routine. it's been tough. and it's been almost a month since we were robbed and not had a home. we have a great house we are moving into. thank you, kind Jesus. and i can't wait till we can move in. it's just been hard in the meantime. 

of course, because the Lord is so gracious and kind, He has provided little gifts all this month. from money gifts, to giving me some rest from taking care of the house with my hurt back, to not having to cook much :), to sweet friends who invite us over for dinner after a particularly hard day, to sweet friends who invited us to sleep in their home while they were gone so we could get a little break from the business living chaos. it goes on and on.

this is what we are thinking as of now: we will move in friday. i leave saturday morning for dallas (a trip i've had planned for months to see my dad for his birthday-which i am going by myself to!!!!! if i've ever needed a vacation it's now!), jake has babysitters for the kids on saturday so he can potentially unpack and finish emptying the storage unit, and i will come home on tuesday to a lovely, new house! :) haha, in an ideal world this will happen. some things could postpone the move in day so i am trying to be prepared for that. i will certainly be a little heart broken if that's the case.

it's usually really hard for me to admit when i am struggling, need help, or am weary. God is breaking down that idol in me. the idol that i got it all under control. that i am always sweet and nice and don't need help from anyone. NOT ANYMORE. i told jake the other night, one thing the Lord is doing in all of this is breaking.me.down. and making it okay to ask for help because i have no choice. i need it. it is humbling. and horrible. and beautiful. and hard. and beautiful. and freeing. i am just a person. trying to please the Lord. trying to be a great wife and mom. and right now, i can't do much. i am surviving. and that is okay. for He is my strength and my ability. amen. 

i thank the Lord daily for the grace of my friends here in charlotte. and you kind people who listen to me complain and cry and be frustrated with our situation. BUT we will make it. no doubt. and look back on this one day and be thankful. i just hope we have a house before this baby comes in may :) jk, jk!!!!!!! at least, i better be jk-ing! or else i'll be in a mental hospital when i give birth. 

i say this with a true heart, thank you. and love to you this day.

mer